I was from here a long time ago....
Someday I'll go back for good...
Swaddling Clothes
13 years ago
Into the starry blue...
My pops passed
away on November 30th. It's been unbelievable, torturous, too quick and too
soon.
I am sad. Today
we had the final walk through at Dad's apartment. It was weird. I remember how Dad smelled. His apartment smelled like him. I have a couple of
his jackets that smell like him, like cigarette smoke and mint and aftershave.
I think I will put them in a zipper bag so the smell will stay around
longer.
I still can't
believe it happened so fast. I am reminded that I can't be on everyone else's
time schedule for processing it. God's got it all worked out and I just take
things a day at a time, a moment at a time, on the schedule He has for my
heart. When I have a thought of Dad, I always try to hold it for the longest
time, to remember what he looked like, what he sounded like, even into that
last day. I worry that I will forget him.
Our
relationship wasn't always the best, but I think I understand just a bit more
what forgiveness is all about. It's not forgetting necessarily, but it's redefining
what doesn't matter anymore, enough so it feels forgotten. I wasted a lot of
time being mad at him, I think, and not figuring out how to move past that.
Maybe I didn't want to.
I hold tight
knowing God knows our hearts, my heart, better than we think. He knows how to
move us, how to comfort us in ways we don't even know we need. I am thankful
for the Spirit who prays for our beautiful crazy selves when we can't find the
words.
I miss my Dad.
And that's the truth.
Proof I went to Anthro tonight...
And another piece of evidence...
It's true. We're deciding if Homo Habilis was a scavenger. Apparently, the answer is not quite so obvious...
Actually, I never thought I would be in a college level class where I could be blogging in the middle of said class. Then again, when I took my first classes in the fall of 1993 (sheesh!) I didn't have any idea what blogging was. I don't even think I had my own computer yet. I remember this thing called a computer lab...
The sad thing is this isn't my only class this semester that isn't super high quality. I am getting a B in here without too much work. In my Wednesday class, where one of the students actually slammed his book and walked out in the middle of a lecture a few weeks ago, I am not doing as well. Unfortunately, it's probably close to the worst teacher I have had in all my college days. So even when I try to pay attention, the teacher will test us on stuff that she doesn't cover and is not in the book. When we ask her questions in class, she literally has said she is too tired to think about the answer at that time. What???
I hope next semester is better. I think I am going to take most of my classes online.
Remember that food fight we had..
Well, this looks pretty fun, too!
If any one is planning a food fight soon, I'd love to participate!
Practice Photo Op
Practicing Mobile Blogging Again
Hi all!
Just a practice entry to see how easy it would be to start mobile blogging again. I kind of miss some parts of the immediacy of facebook.
Amy
INFJ - A Rare Breed
I am home sick today. I can't sleep because I keep coughing and I am trying NOT to watch t.v. I should really be studying. Instead, as I surf the internets, I am reminded of this wonderful fact of how I am created.
I am an INFJ. I am rare.
An INFJ is a personality type which you can read about here. Only 1% of the US population is made up of INFJ's. I've taken several of these types of tests over the years and of the four categories, only the I (introvert) part is close enough to it's counterpart E (extrovert) to cross the line. So at one point I leaned toward an ENFJ (still rare at 4%).
I realized, after some research, I really am introverted. I just learned some extroverted behaviors, mostly because I found that sometimes you will get more out of your life experiences by stepping out of your comfort zones. I often wonder what this means for me today as I am more comfortable with my introverted side and don't worry so much about keeping up with those wild extroverts any more. :)
So, I share this distinction with this guy:
.jpg)
I am an INFJ. I am rare.
An INFJ is a personality type which you can read about here. Only 1% of the US population is made up of INFJ's. I've taken several of these types of tests over the years and of the four categories, only the I (introvert) part is close enough to it's counterpart E (extrovert) to cross the line. So at one point I leaned toward an ENFJ (still rare at 4%).
I realized, after some research, I really am introverted. I just learned some extroverted behaviors, mostly because I found that sometimes you will get more out of your life experiences by stepping out of your comfort zones. I often wonder what this means for me today as I am more comfortable with my introverted side and don't worry so much about keeping up with those wild extroverts any more. :)
So, I share this distinction with this guy:
These two ladies:
(Carrie, not Leia)
.jpg)
And this guy:
(Luke, not Mark)
Also, this gives me some direction in career choices. Nice to know I am already heading in a direction that is a good fit.
Do you know your personality type? I'd love to hear about it in a comment.
Deleting feels good...
Well, I've done it. No more facebook for me. Wonder how that will change my life...?
Spring Hills Weekends
I told you previously about the Labor Day BBQ at church and shared some pictures. Here is one more of one of our church family cuties getting her tricycle entered for the big parade.
It's seems like there is something always going on over at the Fulton Road property we call home. This weekend we've gotten to spend time with the band Seventh Day Slumber. They led worship at our 3 services and will be doing a concert tonight. I will be taking tickets at the door and then maybe some more pics to add to last night's set.
After Saturday night service, we all had dinner together and got to hang out with the band.
It's A Hot Fall
It's been a few weeks since mom's birthday. I feel like not a lot has happened but then how did I get busy again as I am consciously trying to simplify things?
I decided to go back to school and finish my AA. Although, apparently I lost catalogue privileges since the last time I went so I had to pick out something new. After I met with a counselor I found something that will work, so I am glad that worked out. I just want something that says, "Hey, you've worked hard every once in a while since 1993 and we noticed." Then I will move on to the next hard earned piece of paper.
I think that paper will be in the form of a BS in business management. There are other ideas after that but I don't want to get too ahead of myself. That seems to be a problem of mine.
Last Sunday evening was the church Labor Day BBQ in which I entered the chocolate chip cookie contest. I know some of you have had my cookies so you can imagine my disappointment when I didn't place in the "Traditional - No Nuts" category.
Mine's at the top of the picture, the winner is on the right and the runner up on the left. (Yay, Teresa Brown!) They were good cookies, too. It was a good lesson for me in humility. I had to work through that a bit. But God is good, even in the little struggles.
The rest of the picnic was fun. My brother-in-law even won the staff round of the pie eating contest!
They had to prepare with garbage bags coverings!
There was a slight protest form Pastor Bret at the finale but...
the results spoke for them selves! Yay, Pastor Bill!
I have decided to quit facebook. By next Sunday you only will be able to email me, call me or get updates here on the blog. Let me know if you want me to put you on an email list for when I have a new blog entry.
Lastly, on a sad note, I was praying for the San Bruno families all weekend as they struggled to regroup after the devastating explosion and fire in their neighborhood. It seems that one of the families, who I know from camp and the Presbyterian church there, lost 3 members of their immediate family in that fire. Please join me in praying (or sending good and peaceful thoughts) out to that family and their church as they gather around them and others who have lost so much in that neighborhood.
That's all for now. I have to stop typing or I will have nothing left to type about.
Until next time... Peace to you!
I decided to go back to school and finish my AA. Although, apparently I lost catalogue privileges since the last time I went so I had to pick out something new. After I met with a counselor I found something that will work, so I am glad that worked out. I just want something that says, "Hey, you've worked hard every once in a while since 1993 and we noticed." Then I will move on to the next hard earned piece of paper.
I think that paper will be in the form of a BS in business management. There are other ideas after that but I don't want to get too ahead of myself. That seems to be a problem of mine.
Last Sunday evening was the church Labor Day BBQ in which I entered the chocolate chip cookie contest. I know some of you have had my cookies so you can imagine my disappointment when I didn't place in the "Traditional - No Nuts" category.
Mine's at the top of the picture, the winner is on the right and the runner up on the left. (Yay, Teresa Brown!) They were good cookies, too. It was a good lesson for me in humility. I had to work through that a bit. But God is good, even in the little struggles.
The rest of the picnic was fun. My brother-in-law even won the staff round of the pie eating contest!
They had to prepare with garbage bags coverings!
This is mid - pie. They were made of a little chocolate pudding and LOTS of whipped cream. And they couldn't use any hands.
There was a slight protest form Pastor Bret at the finale but...
the results spoke for them selves! Yay, Pastor Bill!
I have decided to quit facebook. By next Sunday you only will be able to email me, call me or get updates here on the blog. Let me know if you want me to put you on an email list for when I have a new blog entry.
Lastly, on a sad note, I was praying for the San Bruno families all weekend as they struggled to regroup after the devastating explosion and fire in their neighborhood. It seems that one of the families, who I know from camp and the Presbyterian church there, lost 3 members of their immediate family in that fire. Please join me in praying (or sending good and peaceful thoughts) out to that family and their church as they gather around them and others who have lost so much in that neighborhood.
That's all for now. I have to stop typing or I will have nothing left to type about.
Until next time... Peace to you!
Mom's 65th Birthday
This weekend we celebrated my mom's 65th with a few surprises! She thought she and Sharon were going to meet me for a movie after I got off work at 3. Surprise #1 - Sharon had a few friends meet up at Kendall-Jackson for the wine and food pairing they have there. Mom was sure surprised! She even stole some of Sharon's home made caramel corn. It was her birthday after all!
Then they came home and waited for me. I got a call from mom about 6:15 asking what I was doing. I said, "Oh, I was just out doing some errands after work - you know shopping and stuff." She asked if I wanted to meet up at El Azteca for dinner. I told her I could meet there about 7 p.m. She checked with Sharon, who I heard in the background saying "Why doesn't she meet us around 7?" Good one.
Little did she know that at that very moment, I was at my brother's girlfriend's house getting the surprise dinner ready! Everything came together and the Lady of Honor showed up at 7 p.m. to Surprise #2! We had all her favorite appetizers and beer, grilled sausage sandwiches, fresh fruit and ice cream cake for dessert. She was amazed that it was all her favorites, including black licorice and her own box of Good-N-Plenty. I said "Mom, of course it's all your favorites. It's your day!"
So, happy birthday mom! I hope you had fun on your day of surprises! I love you!
Here are pics from the evening:
Then they came home and waited for me. I got a call from mom about 6:15 asking what I was doing. I said, "Oh, I was just out doing some errands after work - you know shopping and stuff." She asked if I wanted to meet up at El Azteca for dinner. I told her I could meet there about 7 p.m. She checked with Sharon, who I heard in the background saying "Why doesn't she meet us around 7?" Good one.
Little did she know that at that very moment, I was at my brother's girlfriend's house getting the surprise dinner ready! Everything came together and the Lady of Honor showed up at 7 p.m. to Surprise #2! We had all her favorite appetizers and beer, grilled sausage sandwiches, fresh fruit and ice cream cake for dessert. She was amazed that it was all her favorites, including black licorice and her own box of Good-N-Plenty. I said "Mom, of course it's all your favorites. It's your day!"
So, happy birthday mom! I hope you had fun on your day of surprises! I love you!
Here are pics from the evening:
J & B
C & K
Mom Arrives
Surprise!
B's Mom and Sharon Warm Up
Birthday Girl
The Bros
Um... Those bros are silly...
Mom's Faves
Had to have the shrimp and G&P's
Me and Mom
Time For Presents
Sibs - where's K? :(
Mom and Sharon
Well, hello...
C, K, Me, L, B and Mom
Mom's haul for the weekend!
One and only FB survey - Things about me...
Here's one of those silly surveys that people do on networking sites - completed exactly a year ago tomorrow. It's interesting how most of the answers are still the case. The phlebotomy pursuit is not happening so much but I still can get into the cause and effect side of medicine.
I'll even include the random picture I put in at the end. I like it because it was from the Slice and Dice hall at the 2009 SoCo Fair. I love the expressions on the people in the crowd.
Feel free to copy the questions and fill in your own answers on your chosen method of communication via the internets. Be sure to include your own random snap shot at the end. That's kind of the fun part.
1. What time did you get up this morning? - 7:30 am
2. How do you like your steak? – grilled and naked
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? - Star Trek. Thanks, Hammerhead.
4. What is your favorite TV show? – Little House
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? - down a county lane, on a mountain by a lake
6. What did you have for breakfast? – Coke Zero, Ry-Krisp, 1/2 candy bar, turkey slices
7. What is your favorite cuisine? - Mexicano
8. What foods do you dislike? – things with fur, except I can tolerate kiwis
9. Favorite Place to Eat? - outside
10. Favorite dressing? – blue cheese
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? – a jellybean
12. What are your favorite clothes? – clean ones
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? –Hawaii, Australia, Costa Rica, the desert
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? – depends what's in it
15. Where would you want to retire? – lake oroville
16. Favorite time of day? – before sunset
17. Where were you born? – castro valley
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? – giants baseball
22. Bird watcher? - only if they are far away
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? - depends how sleepy I am and how many other people are around
24. Do you have any pets? – not now. I borrow my mom's dog.
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? – I like to draw blood - medical things appeal to me - I may get over my aversion to vomit yet.
26. What did you want to be when you were little? - astronut/cartographer - AN ASTROGRAPHER
27. What is your best childhood memory? – listening to my mom read little house books to me, playing outside and on the lake, going on adventures, church
29. Are you married? - not at the moment
30. Always wear your seat belt? - YES, YES, YES!!!!
31. Been in a car accident? - YES, YES, YES!!!
32. Any pet peeves? - the mail-in subscription cards in magazines
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? - sausage, onion, pineapple
34. Favorite Flower? – iris, gerbers
35. Favorite ice cream? – Dublin Mudslide, baby!
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? - jack in the crack
37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? – zero
38. From whom did you get your last email? - publisher's clearing house
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? – Amazon.com
40. Do anything spontaneous lately? – washed dishes
41. Like your job? - no, but I still do it to the best of my ability - and that's why I am taking phlebotomy
42. Broccoli? - que bueno
43. What was your favorite vacation? - Pajaro Dunes, 1990 - Costa Rica, 1994?
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? - my mom
45. What are you listening to right now? - Rosanne on tv
46. What is your favorite color? - trees
47. How many tattoos do you have? - 3, it's one too many - naw, I'm just kidding
48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? - just following directions, ma'am
49. What time did you finish this quiz? – 10:10 pm
50. Coffee Drinker? - oui, si'l vous plait
1. What time did you get up this morning? - 7:30 am
2. How do you like your steak? – grilled and naked
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? - Star Trek. Thanks, Hammerhead.
4. What is your favorite TV show? – Little House
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? - down a county lane, on a mountain by a lake
6. What did you have for breakfast? – Coke Zero, Ry-Krisp, 1/2 candy bar, turkey slices
7. What is your favorite cuisine? - Mexicano
8. What foods do you dislike? – things with fur, except I can tolerate kiwis
9. Favorite Place to Eat? - outside
10. Favorite dressing? – blue cheese
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? – a jellybean
12. What are your favorite clothes? – clean ones
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? –Hawaii, Australia, Costa Rica, the desert
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? – depends what's in it
15. Where would you want to retire? – lake oroville
16. Favorite time of day? – before sunset
17. Where were you born? – castro valley
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? – giants baseball
22. Bird watcher? - only if they are far away
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? - depends how sleepy I am and how many other people are around
24. Do you have any pets? – not now. I borrow my mom's dog.
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? – I like to draw blood - medical things appeal to me - I may get over my aversion to vomit yet.
26. What did you want to be when you were little? - astronut/cartographer - AN ASTROGRAPHER
27. What is your best childhood memory? – listening to my mom read little house books to me, playing outside and on the lake, going on adventures, church
29. Are you married? - not at the moment
30. Always wear your seat belt? - YES, YES, YES!!!!
31. Been in a car accident? - YES, YES, YES!!!
32. Any pet peeves? - the mail-in subscription cards in magazines
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? - sausage, onion, pineapple
34. Favorite Flower? – iris, gerbers
35. Favorite ice cream? – Dublin Mudslide, baby!
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? - jack in the crack
37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? – zero
38. From whom did you get your last email? - publisher's clearing house
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? – Amazon.com
40. Do anything spontaneous lately? – washed dishes
41. Like your job? - no, but I still do it to the best of my ability - and that's why I am taking phlebotomy
42. Broccoli? - que bueno
43. What was your favorite vacation? - Pajaro Dunes, 1990 - Costa Rica, 1994?
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? - my mom
45. What are you listening to right now? - Rosanne on tv
46. What is your favorite color? - trees
47. How many tattoos do you have? - 3, it's one too many - naw, I'm just kidding
48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? - just following directions, ma'am
49. What time did you finish this quiz? – 10:10 pm
50. Coffee Drinker? - oui, si'l vous plait
The Beautiful Mind
7/30/10
The Beautiful Mind
Some say the Bible has too many rules
Some say the Bible has too many fools
Some say it lies
And pounce on it like vultures
But you do some checkin'
On its words and its cultures
You'll see why it's written each certain way
And each little piece He's put there to stay
A beautiful mind God gave you for sure
But He does not want robots -
The choice is all yours
What ever you think of this or of that
Let the Bible be your thinking cap
Whenever you think you can't figure it out
God gives you his Word to put away doubt
More cookie analogy... Fresh out of the oven.
We all get the opportunity to enjoy cookies in life. You know, the sweet stuff. Sometimes there are more chips in our cookie. Sometimes less. It is not dependent on whether we grab the cookie out of the jar or someone hands it to us from afar. We still get to eat cookies, right?
Why I Focus On Conan And Ignore My Own Life
I was just about to respond to a friends post on Facebook about whether one should feel bad that he gets paid a crazy amount of money to stay off of the airwaves for a while.
It seems unnecessary that he gets paid for "not working". In one way, that just goes with the whole hollywood dis-proportionate work load to money ratio for stars that is unfortunately fed by most of western society and based on reaction to the short term most of the time. However, I do think that it sucks for him because in the general picture it doesn't seem that contracts mean a whole lot any more - people just do what they want and deal with the consequences. How many people do you know that have broken a rental lease? Or copied a CD or DVD from a friend for themselves?
Only the staff that came with him to the Tonight Show form Late Night will get any part of that settlement money. Other people lost their behind the scenes jobs with no back up. People that have regular salaries that pay for regular mortgages and support regular families. All of them have to look for other jobs. I know several people who work in the industry, mostly behind the scenes stuff. They work their butts off. I myself was a chihuahua wrangler for a day just for a super local indie director and I was amazed at the brain power that went into making the actors look good and what the actors were responsible for to make the scenes go well. It is work.
Also NBC is a poorly run company. They seem to be more loyal to Jay who couldn't cut it in prime time (trust me, I tried to watch him for awhile) and less loyal to Conan even though there were contracts in place and my understanding is they wanted him there and spent much energy in that transition. Everybody knows a show like that takes a while to get going. Certainly more than 7 months. There are other shows that I have enjoyed as well that don't really seem to get a fair shot or they let the staples drag on and on. They never canceled Saturday Night when it sucked worse then Leno's new show.
Truly there are few who will ever know what really went on, all the details of the contract, which parts of this whole fiasco are souped up for public consumption. It certainly has got people all over the world talking. It took a devastating earthquake to kind of cool off the topic for a while.
Which brings me to my next point. Why am I even worried about this. It doesn't effect me. There have been so many things in my life that I am not dealing with, the fact that I choose to float out my own opinion on this over the internets kind of baffles me.
I could choose to write about my beautiful and well loved aunt that passed last week. I could choose to write about other people in my family that are sick and why that is completely unfair. I could choose to write about how I have probably been depressed about the state of my own life. Feeling stuck and fat and unmotivated and generally bored. I could choose to write about how I feel disconnected and angry at myself that I don't do a lot to change those things.
It's easier to talk about things that don't force me to feel pain or joy for the fear of what it will do to me. Seeing this written down makes me think maybe it's time to change that.
Oh, I'll probably still talk about things like Hollywood and Haiti, but maybe I'll make more of an effort to address today, what I see, what I feel, since some big changes are coming up. I think I will do that. Make the commitment to share, to write about reality, everyday stuff. Even if it brings tears or means sharing joy with others even though they might be gone sooner (or later). Or sharing in others joy from afar.
Here's to really feelin' it.
It seems unnecessary that he gets paid for "not working". In one way, that just goes with the whole hollywood dis-proportionate work load to money ratio for stars that is unfortunately fed by most of western society and based on reaction to the short term most of the time. However, I do think that it sucks for him because in the general picture it doesn't seem that contracts mean a whole lot any more - people just do what they want and deal with the consequences. How many people do you know that have broken a rental lease? Or copied a CD or DVD from a friend for themselves?
Only the staff that came with him to the Tonight Show form Late Night will get any part of that settlement money. Other people lost their behind the scenes jobs with no back up. People that have regular salaries that pay for regular mortgages and support regular families. All of them have to look for other jobs. I know several people who work in the industry, mostly behind the scenes stuff. They work their butts off. I myself was a chihuahua wrangler for a day just for a super local indie director and I was amazed at the brain power that went into making the actors look good and what the actors were responsible for to make the scenes go well. It is work.
Also NBC is a poorly run company. They seem to be more loyal to Jay who couldn't cut it in prime time (trust me, I tried to watch him for awhile) and less loyal to Conan even though there were contracts in place and my understanding is they wanted him there and spent much energy in that transition. Everybody knows a show like that takes a while to get going. Certainly more than 7 months. There are other shows that I have enjoyed as well that don't really seem to get a fair shot or they let the staples drag on and on. They never canceled Saturday Night when it sucked worse then Leno's new show.
Truly there are few who will ever know what really went on, all the details of the contract, which parts of this whole fiasco are souped up for public consumption. It certainly has got people all over the world talking. It took a devastating earthquake to kind of cool off the topic for a while.
Which brings me to my next point. Why am I even worried about this. It doesn't effect me. There have been so many things in my life that I am not dealing with, the fact that I choose to float out my own opinion on this over the internets kind of baffles me.
I could choose to write about my beautiful and well loved aunt that passed last week. I could choose to write about other people in my family that are sick and why that is completely unfair. I could choose to write about how I have probably been depressed about the state of my own life. Feeling stuck and fat and unmotivated and generally bored. I could choose to write about how I feel disconnected and angry at myself that I don't do a lot to change those things.
It's easier to talk about things that don't force me to feel pain or joy for the fear of what it will do to me. Seeing this written down makes me think maybe it's time to change that.
Oh, I'll probably still talk about things like Hollywood and Haiti, but maybe I'll make more of an effort to address today, what I see, what I feel, since some big changes are coming up. I think I will do that. Make the commitment to share, to write about reality, everyday stuff. Even if it brings tears or means sharing joy with others even though they might be gone sooner (or later). Or sharing in others joy from afar.
Here's to really feelin' it.
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