Usual MO for a deadline...

Here's a paper I wrote for my Bible class at Simpson U this week. We have to do a reaction paper each week on something form our last class or reading. It just has to be 2 or 3 pages of our reaction to said topic or passage. The papers end up being free flow writing, kind of like a blog entry, so I decided to post this one. Now you can see what I do at 1:30 in the morning the night before class.

          I subscribe to a magazine called Relevant. Every two months a collection of articles and advertisements is delivered to my mailbox, letting me know what’s going on in the world of folks in my generation. That is, the generation of 30-something post-moderns, somewhat jaded by the status quo of the mainstream church. Most people my age are just as enthralled by their iPhones as the devastation in Haiti. We are interested in striking a balance of the dichotomy of our desire to be active in God’s bigger picture and what the world says we should long for.

            In the most recent issue, there was article titled “Where Is God In Tragedy?” by Sarah Sumner. In this article, Sumner explores the issue of suffering, both our own and for others. On the issue of personal suffering, she compares the personal suffering of Job and Jeremiah with the personal suffering of Jesus on the cross. She references Matthew 27:46 (part of our reading this week), when Jesus cries out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” This is the first line of Psalm 22. She goes on to explain that by just saying the first line of any passage, the Hebrew would know that that person is referencing the entire associated passage.

            Psalm 22 is about suffering to the point of crying out day and night and not hearing anything from God in reply. However, the author, David, goes on to say that God is still holy despite the silence. His steadfast holiness is shown by the trust in the fathers of Israel and the deliverance they received. Sumner reminds the reader that Job and Jeremiah ultimately could not see past their own suffering. While they never cursed God, they did curse the fact that He let them be born. To me, this is pretty much the same thing because they were saying God was wrong since he allowed them to be born. God can be and is quite often misunderstood, but He can’t be wrong.

            When we ask the question of why me or why them or why haven’t I heard form You, it may seem like we are questioning what’s around us, but really we are questioning God’s character. We grab that mystery of suffering and pain that God has placed in our path with both grubby hands. We twist it and try to peel it apart just so we can feel better about whatever circumstance we are slogging through at the moment. We think an answer to the why will act like a salve for our broken hearts. When we ask why, what we are really asking is why not my way?

            This question shines a light on the fact that we are losing our trust in the character of God. We have to understand that this mystery is what was put into place since that first moment when man exercised the muscle of free will. By choosing our way, we chose a level of separation that can’t be fully remedied until the story is completed in eternity. God doesn’t want to be separated from us and has made a way back. But the story has to play out. We have to trust that story. We have to trust that He can’t be wrong.

            I don’t think we will ever understand God fully, even when we are with Him in eternity. I don’t think Adam and Eve necessarily had some advantage way back then in the garden. Yeah, they walked with Him every day, but we can do that with the Holy Spirit now. If we are practicing the presence of God, we can know His voice, know right and wrong, know what steps he wants us to take. If we were to fully understand Him, what would be the point of Him being God? Besides, I saw what happened to that guy in the first Indiana Jones movie.

            This is not to deny the process of grief or the process of seeking justice for others. I think these are amazing parts of the footprints of God’s character in our being. He is capable of knowing pain, suffering, disappointment, grief as well as compassion, joy and laughter. They are a part of who He is. Because we are made in His image, they are also a part of how we operate. Because we also live with the legacy of the first selfish choice made so long ago, we must remember to look to Him and the example of Jesus, who said, even while being fully God, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup form me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” (Mark 14:36, ESV)

            So I ask my self, do I really trust Him?

Into the starry blue...

My pops passed away on November 30th. It's been unbelievable, torturous, too quick and too soon. 

I am sad. Today we had the final walk through at Dad's apartment. It was weird. I remember how Dad smelled. His apartment smelled like him. I have a couple of his jackets that smell like him, like cigarette smoke and mint and aftershave. I think I will put them in a zipper bag so the smell will stay around longer. 

I still can't believe it happened so fast. I am reminded that I can't be on everyone else's time schedule for processing it. God's got it all worked out and I just take things a day at a time, a moment at a time, on the schedule He has for my heart. When I have a thought of Dad, I always try to hold it for the longest time, to remember what he looked like, what he sounded like, even into that last day. I worry that I will forget him.

Our relationship wasn't always the best, but I think I understand just a bit more what forgiveness is all about. It's not forgetting necessarily, but it's redefining what doesn't matter anymore, enough so it feels forgotten. I wasted a lot of time being mad at him, I think, and not figuring out how to move past that. Maybe I didn't want to. 

I hold tight knowing God knows our hearts, my heart, better than we think. He knows how to move us, how to comfort us in ways we don't even know we need. I am thankful for the Spirit who prays for our beautiful crazy selves when we can't find the words.

I miss my Dad. And that's the truth.

Bible in a Minute

Here's a fun summary of the history of God and his kids...

Spring Hills Weekends

I told you previously about the Labor Day BBQ at church and shared some pictures. Here is one more of one of our church family cuties getting her tricycle entered for the big parade. 

Too fun! She did such a nice job decorating her ride. Way to go :)

It's seems like there is something always going on over at the Fulton Road property we call home. This weekend we've gotten to spend time with the band Seventh Day Slumber. They led worship at our 3 services and will be doing a concert tonight. I will be taking tickets at the door and then maybe some more pics to add to last night's set.

After Saturday night service, we all had dinner together and got to hang out with the band.

The Beautiful Mind

7/30/10

The Beautiful Mind

Some say the Bible has too many rules

Some say the Bible has too many fools

Some say it lies 

     And pounce on it like vultures

But you do some checkin' 

    On its words and its cultures

You'll see why it's written each certain way

And each little piece He's put there to stay

A beautiful mind God gave you for sure

But He does not want robots - 

   The choice is all yours

What ever you think of this or of that 

Let the Bible be your thinking cap

Whenever you think you can't figure it out

God gives you his Word to put away doubt

© 2010 Amy White